This weeks theme was, "changes". I started a new job, Amelia started childcare, and we are trying to find and finance a car. The week leading up to this big week was stressful to say the least. Without a car, running errands was difficult. I had papers to sign, child care centers to tour and get Amelia acclimated to, cars to test drive, documents to submit, and the list goes on. Tension was a little higher than normal in our household (and boy did I feel it in my shoulders), trying to figure out how we were going to make it to my first paycheck, the last working day of August. I broke down into tears a minimum of three times this last weekend fearing the worst for Amelia. Fearing that she would be lost without me, that she would feel abandoned. Tony so gently reminded me that I am a strong person and that I can get through this.
But I am here to say that we made it, or at least have gotten through the hardest part. I was blessed to only be working half days during the first week, which has lent itself to Amelia becoming more comfortable in her classroom. I was so worried that she wouldn't sleep at all this first week, while at school and she has surprised us all. The first day for her was a little strange when she woke up from nap (yep, she napped) and I wasn't there. Tony and I arrived to her in absolute screaming mode. Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday proved to be much easier for her. Amelia is a very outgoing and friendly little girl after all. I think it was me that I was worried about the most (subconsciously). What was I going to do all day without my baby, without the schedule I had set for us every single day? Instead I was going to be in charge of a whole classroom of other people's children. I liked sleeping every day until Amelia woke up, I liked (mostly) to do household chores while she took naps and I liked being able to see her progress and learn every day.
Just these last few days has taught me a lot, and I know it will continue to be a learning process as a new parent. Four short days has showed me that I do miss being in a classroom, planning activities and creating these close relationships with each child. It has showed me that you have to do what is necessary for your family, that sacrifices are always a part of life. I know Amelia is in a safe and caring environment, that she likes to interact with those little babies every single day and that she is just plain OK. I just keep thinking about the saying, "It takes a village to raise a child". Of course I would love to stay home with Amelia every day, but would she be well socialized? I think it's harder to be a stay at home mom these days, unless you have it made like in the "old days" when families were all in close proximity and could share the responsibilities. Anyway, thats a whole different discussion...
Moral of the story = You have to do what you can to support and love your family. Sacrifice will always be a part of life.
Next week may be a whole different story when we start our 8-9 hr days. Hopefully we have a car soon :D
